I'm a U.S Army Veteran now selling premium artisan bath & body products online. AMA!

msberrymo
Jun 25, 2017

After serving in the U.S. Air Force for over 12 years, I separated to care for my terminally ill father (also a veteran) and terminally ill aunt.  Two days after my father’s death, my mother began having health issues. Caring for her has limited my employment options, so I am seeking a way to financially support her and my family by establishing a retail business and I need your assistance! I am not asking for charity, so for those who support my efforts I am offering many GREAT Perks.

Please go to my Crowdfunding campaign below:

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/2074895?ref=gogo__fblk__16352789

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Do you have any last words you wish you had told your father?

Jun 25, 2:08PM EDT0

Did your family members have a living will or advanced directive?

Jun 25, 12:31PM EDT0

What is the best way to respond to someone dealing with a family illness?

Jun 25, 11:59AM EDT0

How did the illness of your parents impact you financially?

Jun 25, 8:09AM EDT0

What is your opinion on employee family leave rights?

Jun 25, 5:17AM EDT0

How do you find resources especially for caregivers?

Jun 25, 3:53AM EDT40

I rely primarily upon my sister, who is a RN (registered nurse) for support/resources.   There are many support networks that exist in the United States for those without support sturctures, such as: the caregivers alliance, Livestrong, local churches, etc.  No matter were you find support, it is important to always remember that caregivers must take care of themselves....they can not provide the needed care if they are ill themself.

Jun 25, 5:01AM EDT52

Did you apply to these support networks?

Jun 26, 9:24AM EDT35

Were you ever involved in combat in the Air Force?

Jun 25, 3:35AM EDT28

I began my career in the Air Force in Combat Communications.  Over my career, I transitioned into medical administration....during which I was in more hostile environments than when in an actual combat role.

Jun 25, 4:58AM EDT30

wow. What was the most difficult situation ?

Jun 26, 10:14AM EDT17

How did your relationship with your parents change, as caregiver?

Jun 25, 3:21AM EDT29

In my case, not very much.  I did/do enjoy a frank adult relationship with my parents.  I have always been their for them, as they were/are for me, so the role reversal was not overly dramatic.  The only notable diffence is currently with my mother, who heavily relied on my father for financial decisions, who now depends on me to make sound financial decisions.

Jun 25, 4:56AM EDT42

wish you more inner strength to deal with all troubles

Jun 26, 7:48AM EDT54

What is your view on the right to die as a terminal patient?

Jun 25, 2:02AM EDT25

My view is that the government should only have a limited role in this decision.  Their only role should be to ensure the decision is made by someone (the terminal patient) who is competent to make the decision and if there are any questions if this decision is consistent with their written wishes.

Jun 25, 4:49AM EDT39

I think so too

Jun 26, 6:30AM EDT11

What platform do you use for marketing your line of products?

Jun 25, 1:30AM EDT19

At this time I have only used facebook and the crowdfunding site "indiegogo.com".  The goal is to raise funds to establish a store through indiegogo, the online products are perks for those who help.

Jun 25, 4:44AM EDT14

maybe you shoud try to sell your produsts online?

Jun 26, 7:36AM EDT22

How does a child caregiver approach a parent about creating a will?

Jun 25, 12:44AM EDT40

In my opinion, straight on!  It is not a surprise that we all age and we all are mortal.  The trick is to approach the issue of a will and/or estate planning in a non-confrontal manner.  Speaking frankly about the parents wishes and providing an atmosphere whereby they feel comfortable honestly sharing those wishes is the best approach...and then caring out those wishes regardless of your own feelings.

Jun 25, 4:27AM EDT42

but what if their wishes are too finicky or freakish?

Jun 26, 8:21AM EDT20

How did you choose the Air Force as your branch of service?

Jun 25, 12:24AM EDT33

Techinical excellence and family history.  The Air Force is the best service for those seeking technical areas of education/employement....followed closely by the Navy.  The diffence is basically lifestyle.  Army and Marines is the best for those who seek physical adventure/challenges.  But military service, regardless of branch, in my opinion, is one of the most fulfilling careers that a young person can pursue.  There can be no greater calling than protecting the Constitution, freedom, and the very safety of those you love.

Jun 25, 4:21AM EDT30

Do a lot of young people seek in the military service?

Jun 26, 11:57AM EDT36

How did being a caregiver impact your ability to work?

Jun 24, 11:46PM EDT40

Being a caregiver impacted my ability to work, in a conventional sense, in several ways.  Caring for my father and aunt required I be available 24/7.  More than once I had to help them use the restroom, get in and out of bed, etc.  Since their passing, with my mother's health issues, I have to remain flexible for many of the same reasons.  I monitor her medicines, have to take her to mulitple medical appointments, prepare meals, clean the house, do laundry, be there to care for her when she is symptamatic and generally be available to monitor her medical issues.  From a conventional employment standpoint, this means: missed days of work, mental distractions thoughout the day, and not being able to commit...in short not being a good employee.

Jun 25, 4:19AM EDT47

Do you have anyone to help you with caregiving?

Jun 26, 11:16AM EDT31

What are some of the worst reactions you've gotten to your family members' illnesses?

Jun 24, 11:31PM EDT0

I have been fortunate that I have really not received any negative reactions beyond the occassional stare or strange look.  The harshest reactions have been after...people making negative comments about my choice to become a caregiver...which does, in some sense, make me questions the priorities of younger generations and our societies priorities as a whole.

Jun 25, 4:06AM EDT18

I think you made the right choice. It's your family and you love them. Why you shouldn't take care of them? people are stupid.

Jun 26, 9:34AM EDT0

What are the advantages of service in the Air Force over other branches?

Jun 24, 10:15PM EDT0

In my humble opinion....the Air Force is the best service for those seeking technical areas of education/employement....followed closely by the Navy.  The diffence is basically lifestyle.  Army and Marines is the best for those who seek physical adventure/challenges.  But military service, regardless of branch, in my opinion, is one of the most fulfilling careers that a young person can pursue.  There can be no greater calling than protecting the Constitution, freedom, and the very safety of those you love.

Jun 25, 4:01AM EDT9

Do you have any guilt issues as the surviving child?

Jun 24, 9:54PM EDT0

No.  To me, guilt derives from actions that you regret.  The fact that I made the hard decisions I did, meant that I was there for my father, when he needed me most, and the family...to me they were the right decisions.  So by no means do I feel guilt about the inevitable circle of life.

Jun 25, 3:55AM EDT55

you are a strong willed person

Jun 26, 12:11PM EDT0

Did you have any experience with fights over your father's will?

Jun 24, 9:41PM EDT16

Fortunately No.  We took the time to do an estate plan.  In doing this, my father's wishes were fully represented and since his estate was under $600k, it meant that no probate was necessary.  So the transition was smooth.

Jun 25, 3:49AM EDT14

Did you get any caregiver help from siblings or other relatives?

Jun 24, 9:15PM EDT18

I did and do receive support from my siblings.  Fortunately, my sister is a RN (registered nurse)...so she deals/dealt with the direct medical and medication issues, however she works full-time so is/was not able to provice the needed respite care.  I, on the other hand, am/was able to provide the respite care needed.

Jun 25, 3:46AM EDT32

Are you married?

Jun 26, 8:08AM EDT0

What is your experience with hospice care, if any?

Jun 24, 8:37PM EDT32

Hospice care was vital in my specific situation.  Even though my father was diagnosed first, my aunt's illness was more advanced...therefore we utilized hospice care sooner for her.  Upon her passing, the same hospice organization provided care for my father.....because of the relationships formed, the organization acutally employed the same individuals to care for him.  This continuity provided some sense of regularity and helped ease the transition.

Jun 25, 3:42AM EDT33

Is the hospice care good? Did it help in your situation?

Jun 26, 10:44AM EDT18

How did the Air Force accommodate your family circumstances?

Jun 24, 8:34PM EDT38

The Air Force was very supportive of my circumstances.  My superior officers took the time to understand my specific situation and helped me in my decision process...offering advice, options, time.  When I finalized my decision, they made the transition as smooth as possible and continued to offer support even after my seperation.

Jun 25, 3:34AM EDT22

That's good!

Jun 26, 12:01PM EDT9
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